The Birds, 2005
Hollywood is remaking everything else these days, so why not a remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic “The Birds”? Picture the attractive school teacher (Suzanne Pleshette in the original) with the school children on the playground. Slowly at first, then more rapidly the birds gather, only this time instead of a murder of crows, it’s a gaggle of hissing geese encircling the unsuspecting kids. Suddenly, the geese attack in a tumult of beating wings and honking….In the next signature scene, Melanie Daniels (Tippy Hedron in the original) takes cover, only this time not in a phone booth, but in a porta-john along Lake of the Isles where she was jogging. The geese relentlessly dive bomb the flimsy plastic structure and peck feverishly at the walls until one goose’s head pops through inches from Miss Daniel’s face. Outside, bicyclists are sent crashing and roller bladers upended until the geese withdraw as quickly and mysteriously as they appeared…
Okay, maybe that’s stretching it, but the urban goose is becoming a serious nuisance and a potential health hazard in the Twin Cities area. Increased bacteria in lakes can make swimming a risky proposition and the waste also acts as a fertilizer for algae.
This Strib article contains more information that you care to know about the Canadian goose. Suffice it to say that the phrase “Like crap through a goose” appears to be very well founded. Below are a few excerpts (in italics) and some of personal observations.
The giant Canada goose was thought to be extinct for nearly 30 years. In 1962, a biologist discovered the bird in Rochester, said Steve Wilds, regional migratory bird chief for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services.
I guess we just needed to restore the land to include more of their natural habitat – golf courses, town home complexes, and multi lane highway ditches.
The article goes on to say that geese relieve themselves 22 times per day. One goose produces roughly 2 pounds of droppings a day. Let’s extend the math. According to the article, there are approximately 17,500 geese in the Twin Cities area. That’s 35,000 pounds of crap per day. Annually, that’s 12.8 million pounds of crap (insert your own Nick Coleman joke here).
In Rochester, Silver Lake hosts 40,000 geese, said city park superintendent Roy Sutherland.
They hold a water skiing event on that lake every year. I hope no one does a face plant.
The DNR was running a program to relocate goslings to more remote areas before they learn to fly. However, they are running out of places to put the geese. According to Jim Cooper, a retired University of Minnesota professor who works with the DNR, without controls the Twin Cities would host more than 300,000 giant Canada geese (my paraphrasing).
If that is the case, the DNR should be commended for job keeping the population around 20,000.
THE NEW PLAN AND THE ILLOGIC OF THE LEFT:
The new plan is to kill some of the adult geese and use the meat to stock local food shelves. We reduce a nuisance and potential health risk, improve environmental balance and feed the hungry. No problems, right? Not if you’re this guy…
Michael David Feld, national program director for Geese Peace, said cities from Boston to Rockford, Ill., are adopting what his organization bills as more humane and more effective goose control. The multipronged approach includes oiling the eggs to prevent them from hatching and using border collies to persuade geese to move elsewhere.
So, it’s more humane to let the hatchlings die a slow death due to cold, suffocation, or whatever the cause of death, than to kill an adult goose with one quick cleaver stroke? I think I’m starting to understand the left. The rule is if you can’t see it die it isn’t really death. And it doesn’t just apply to embryos (goose, human or otherwise). I think this may even explain some of the get out of Viet Nam, Iraq, etc, but who cares about Rwanda illogic. Even though there may be more death following their position, it isn’t really death if it isn't on American TV every day and therefore it won’t make them feel all icky and sad and stuff.
Okay, maybe that’s stretching it, but the urban goose is becoming a serious nuisance and a potential health hazard in the Twin Cities area. Increased bacteria in lakes can make swimming a risky proposition and the waste also acts as a fertilizer for algae.
This Strib article contains more information that you care to know about the Canadian goose. Suffice it to say that the phrase “Like crap through a goose” appears to be very well founded. Below are a few excerpts (in italics) and some of personal observations.
The giant Canada goose was thought to be extinct for nearly 30 years. In 1962, a biologist discovered the bird in Rochester, said Steve Wilds, regional migratory bird chief for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services.
I guess we just needed to restore the land to include more of their natural habitat – golf courses, town home complexes, and multi lane highway ditches.
The article goes on to say that geese relieve themselves 22 times per day. One goose produces roughly 2 pounds of droppings a day. Let’s extend the math. According to the article, there are approximately 17,500 geese in the Twin Cities area. That’s 35,000 pounds of crap per day. Annually, that’s 12.8 million pounds of crap (insert your own Nick Coleman joke here).
In Rochester, Silver Lake hosts 40,000 geese, said city park superintendent Roy Sutherland.
They hold a water skiing event on that lake every year. I hope no one does a face plant.
The DNR was running a program to relocate goslings to more remote areas before they learn to fly. However, they are running out of places to put the geese. According to Jim Cooper, a retired University of Minnesota professor who works with the DNR, without controls the Twin Cities would host more than 300,000 giant Canada geese (my paraphrasing).
If that is the case, the DNR should be commended for job keeping the population around 20,000.
THE NEW PLAN AND THE ILLOGIC OF THE LEFT:
The new plan is to kill some of the adult geese and use the meat to stock local food shelves. We reduce a nuisance and potential health risk, improve environmental balance and feed the hungry. No problems, right? Not if you’re this guy…
Michael David Feld, national program director for Geese Peace, said cities from Boston to Rockford, Ill., are adopting what his organization bills as more humane and more effective goose control. The multipronged approach includes oiling the eggs to prevent them from hatching and using border collies to persuade geese to move elsewhere.
So, it’s more humane to let the hatchlings die a slow death due to cold, suffocation, or whatever the cause of death, than to kill an adult goose with one quick cleaver stroke? I think I’m starting to understand the left. The rule is if you can’t see it die it isn’t really death. And it doesn’t just apply to embryos (goose, human or otherwise). I think this may even explain some of the get out of Viet Nam, Iraq, etc, but who cares about Rwanda illogic. Even though there may be more death following their position, it isn’t really death if it isn't on American TV every day and therefore it won’t make them feel all icky and sad and stuff.
posted by Nordeaster | 9:54 PM
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